Illinois trooper stopped an old lady on the highway. As the trooper approached the car he noticed the NRA sticker. "Do you have any guns with you?" "Of course I do." she said, "Got a Colt .45 in the glove box. You want it get it yourself. I am in a hurry." "Is that the only gun?" asked the cop. "Nope!" she said. "I have a Glock 9 under the dash." "Anymore?" "Yeah! I have a derringer under my skirt. Wanna see?" Angrily the cop said, "What the hell are you afraid of?" NOT A DAMN THING!